I apologize for my absence in the blogging world. It hasn't been for lack of time, since I've been on bed rest I've had plenty of time on my hands. I guess I tend to use facebook as a quicker way to keep everyone updated, but tonight I thought I would go into more detail about what's been going on...
Today, we had an appointment with a specialist. To be specific, the Professor of Cardiology at the Children's Hospital in Plano. His job is all about fetal hearts. There was no checking measurements, or fluid levels, but instead he checked every single part of their little hearts. The ultrasound took a good hour, he wanted to make sure he got everything he needed. He was very kind, and reassuring the whole time, but something he said stuck with me all day. It was simple enough. He said,
"Alright, let's have a look at your daughters." No one had ever called them that before. It was always so technical. Baby A or Baby B. But he called them "our daughters." I loved it. We are going to have not one, but three daughters. What an amazing gift and incredible responsibility.
The rest of the appointment went really well. Though he said that Berkley's heart was in fact a little smaller, there was no need for concern. She was right where she needed to be. My sweet little Berkley and her sweet little heart, doing exactly what God had intended it to do. Harper's heart also looked great and was in working order. In fact the doctor said, "I can't help but take a lot of pictures, your girls photograph beautifully." That made this mamma smile.
While I know the heart isn't where our emotions live, it is the symbolism we use in our culture. I so want my girls, all our kids to be tender hearted. Never calloused or uncaring. I want them to empathize with the plight of others. I want their hearts to be pliable- easily squeezed with joy, and even easily constricted with pain. I hate to think of their precious hearts' getting broken, but a hard heart lacks the capacity to know true love. My prayer for my children is that the Lord will give them a soft heart and protect it as well. I pray they have a heart for the things God loves most.
Carrying two babies around is definitely taking its toll. Even though I am 6 months pregnant, I am measuring almost 9 months! Both babies are head down and this can be super uncomfortable. If you have ever experienced this, you know what I mean. I'll spare the details but lets just say when I sneeze I hope they don't fall out. Since 14 weeks I have gone in weekly for progesterone shots. The first few weeks weren't so bad, but now my back side is getting pretty tender. Sleeping is a whole other issue. It's almost non existent what with the 10 nightly trips to the bathroom...I'm not kidding. I guess my body is getting me ready for all the late nights to come. But despite all these things, I am so grateful, and I truly mean that. Grateful that I have all of these "ailments" because it means I am still carrying my girls. I know too many people who would gladly take my place if it meant a child of their own. Even though it is trying, I am honored to take on this task and challenge and would gladly do it all over again. I love this verse from James 1: 3-4
" Consider it all joy, friends when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith is forced out into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way."
So, for today and everyday... I consider it all joy.
Much love my friends.